THE FLOOR IS NOW LAVA

From this point forward, the floor is now lava. You must proceed only by improvisation. Whether its jumping across chairs and tables, or climbing the walls, or grapple-hooking onto the ceiling, there's no excuse. If your very toe touches the ground your dead. So take this seriously and keep reading to find out how to save yourself!

The rules.
No touching the ground.
No using small objects like books or towels to make a path. They will burn up and you will die.
No surrendering.

The Goal.
You must first make your way to the kitchen without touching the ground, and find and take a suitable object that can hold water. such as a pot or even bucket. You then must make your way to the bathroom sink, and fill it half way at least with water. Then make your way back to your room. Then success, you have conquered the game and the floor is no longer lava.

And if you fail?
Play realistically. If you touch the ground, set you feet on fire, or preferably find a volcano and jump in it.

Name your hero!

2 years ago or so, I broke my Nintendo Wii Console at my cousins place in a rather clumsy fashion. I tripped over a cable from it, which caused the console to fall off the shelves it was on, and hit the ground rather hard. To my surprise, it never worked after that. I tried to open it up to repair it but couldn't, and my warranty had also ran out. I reacted pretty well to the whole accident. I just stared at the white noise on the television and said out loud "well fuck."

A few days ago however, I decided it was time to get a new one! With the release of Donkey Kong Country Returns, and soon Legend of Zelda, Skyward Sword - I definitely was anxious to get another. My girlfriend suggested I save my money, and that being at University I probably wouldn't have much time to play it anyway, however I ended up picking up a cheap pre-owned console. The first game I started playing again was Legend of Zelda, Twilight Princess.

What is your name? The main menu asks me, when I click the corresponding button to begin a new quest. It then asks me to name my horse. I snicker a little, as hilarity ensures as a result of what I named both my hero and my horse.

My name is 'cunt'. And my horse's name is 'my penis'.